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Welcome to Lamma Island, Easter tourists!
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Author:  Lamma-Gung [ Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:45 am ]
Post subject:  Welcome to Lamma Island, Easter tourists!

Some advice for the Easter tourists that have been flooding our home these last 5 days, from Izarra:

"Welcome to Lamma Island, Easter tourists! I have put together a few guidelines to help you enjoy your stay:

GROUP TOURS. When traveling in large groups, please make your presence known! Bring an excess of children's vehicles, oversized umbrellas, camera equipment and beach toys; hold hands in large rows to prevent people from moving past you, and be sure to stop to look at everything. (Yes: EVERYTHING.)

PHOTOS. Get your money's worth from those selfie sticks! Don't miss your chance to take several dozen selfies of the North Lamma Post Office, famously known as "North Lamma's Only Post Office!"™ And keep that camera tripod handy; you never know when you'll need to capture an image of your entire tour group in front of a fruit stand that could literally be any other fruit stand in Southeast Asia.

DIRECTIONS. Do not ask for directions to the beach until you are lost, cranky and hot, in the hills of Ko Long. The locals delight in giving you the same directions that are emblazoned on the street you just walked down. If you end up at the playground, please take a series of ironic photos of your middle-aged spouse playing on the equipment, without regard to the more-appropriately aged playground patrons. Take surreptitious photos of the white kids; this is not creepy at all.

RUBBISH. Did you know that while you're day-tripping, you have no obligation to look after the environment? Somebody must have said that, because clearly many people already believe it. Anyway, please ignore the multiple recycling bins placed conveniently throughout the island, and pitch your cigarette butts wherever you wish. Your rubbish is somebody else's problem.

BEACH TIME! At the beach, please don't show any concern for the amount of precious shade your oversize beach shelter is taking up; rest assured that the thousands of other people appreciate how you're using a shade device within a shaded area. And slather on that sun screen! Or maybe just stay indoors next time?"

This heart-felt advice caused a flood of messages from Lammaites on Facebook:

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