Straight up from the ferry, past foul-mouth-rip-offrest (known to some as the
bent estate agent's arms) you will be upon blankstare corner bar (they have their own toilet block and beer garden) keep on going over the
troll bridge towards the
seats of shame were you can sit and drink SPECIAL BREW
...if you're hard enough.
Take the path along past the next big rip-offrest (not foul-mouthed this time )
and onward to the
tree of enlightenment were you can make a wish to eat your meal in peace without fag smoke or stinking sea water ...but wish very hard.
If you're not eating and only out for a stroll then keep on along
rat ally untill you reach the
crossroads of delight.
Here you will need to make a decision do you want to go past the
Hall of Fame
for more blank stares) or turn right towards the Beach of
Lecky Land were you may sit a while and contemplate either retracing your steps or making a day of it by heading off up into the Crags of Nomansland, where only the wild can survive. (the mild will get pushed off the path by wild hordes of yellow-t-shirted, bother-booted, stick-wielding grannies as they stedfastly follow their leader's yellow banner.)
Be warned: to walk these crags alone without a big stick is only wise to do if you have been sitting in the seats of shame and had a tin or three
If you keep on going you wil come to land Land of Plenty there you will be met by hords of
Foodlums who will not let you past unless you set a while and fill up on what they have to offer.
It is wise to obey , as what they have to offer is plenty and filling and who knows, if you refuse, you may never be seen again.
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